Thursday, January 27, 2011

Three Layers Of comPASSION

There are three layers of comPASSION in the well-known words "do unto others as you would have others do to you". Can you spot them all?

During the most intense training sessions on effective communication people always end up in what I have come to call "the three layers of comPASSION". These are all embodied in the well-known words "do unto others as you would have others do to you".

The First Layer
is the obvious one: We should be good to others, just like we want others to be good to us in return.

The Second Layer
is where it gets interesting: We should not do unto others as we want them to do unto us, but do unto others as they would have us do unto them. In other words, what we prefer is what we want, but that's irrelevant. What they prefer is what they want. We need to know what others want, and then do just that.

The Third Layer
is simply profound: First understand the other, then act based on that understanding coupled with your own wisdom to give them what you believe is what they actually need most.

In general, people project their own desires and wishes onto others, supposing that's what everyone wants and needs. Not good? Definitely no! Never make such assumptions. It's the source of total disaster and break-down in human relationships!

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